Naruto Remake
by Fairy Red
Summary: As the title implies, this is a sort-of remake of the Naruto series. This fanfic will be half-crack-half serious! For full warnings and such, see the first chapter of this fanfic. To see if you'll enjoy the story or not, you have to come and see!


**Naruto Remake**

**Disclaimer: **Fairy Red doesn't own Naruto, or the characters. She just owns this story. As with other fandoms, be glad she doesn't own it.

Naruto IS, however, owned and © Masashi Kishimoto

**A/N: **Until we get a better title, that will stay. So, let me explain this fanfic real quick. This fanfic will include:

-yaoi and yuri (soft-core, implied, and one-sided)

-hetero pairs

-OOC for some, like Sasuke or Kakashi

-a MAJOR change to the story

-Akatsuki

And will not include:

-Naruto Shippuden/Part II

Allow me to explain even more. I like the series, and the anime and manga are very interesting to me, but as I'm watching/reading it, I can see why some people gave up on it. It disappointed me in many places, too. So I got thinking…how I would do Naruto. Or, to put it better, how would the story go if different events happened?

So this fanfic is a look at how I would have let Naruto go had I owned it. So, this will be starting from Episode 20.

**I am warning you now**! **THE REST OF THIS FANFIC MAY NOT BE CANON AT ALL! THIS IS A REMAKE OF THE NARUTO SERIES! I DON'T WANT ANY CORRECTIONS TO THE STORY! YOU GOT THAT? REMEMBER THIS WARNING!**

**IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE AN OUT-OF-CANON COMPLETELY HALF-CRACK-HALF-SERIOUS FANFIC THAT WILL REWRITE NARUTO AS WE KNOW IT, FEEL FREE TO CLICK BACK NOW!**

For anyone else, feel free to stick around. XD You may not like this, you probably will. The only way you'll find out is if you read on.

I'd name what pairings we'll have in this fanfic, but I've blabbed long enough here. Eh heh heh…I'll list them next chapter. And don't worry, not all the author's comments will be this long! Lets begin!

**Chapter 1: ****The Sannin's Return?**

**--**

It was still very early in the morning, but a genin walked outside of Konoha's gates anyway. He was to meet his team at the bridge, but he wanted to find someplace quiet to train before he went to meet with them. The Chunin Exams were coming up, and he would have to train as much as possible.

They probably won't be very difficult for me, thought Sasuke. But since I have that Naruto, and the next-to-useless Sakura on my team, I'd better be ready to make for whatever mistake they can make…

He thought about the mission they had last, back on the Bridge. The C-rank mission that was an A-rank. Against the missing-nins Zabuza and Haku. He frowned as he thought about how he got defeated by Haku, and Naruto had to come from nowhere and help him out…

_I don't want to be saved by him again…_ thought Sasuke, taking out a kunai and giving it an experimental twirl. _I'll get stronger, and then…_

But before he could finish his thought, he heard footsteps coming from the woods.

"…!" Sasuke hurried to a top of a tree branch on instinct, looking around for the person. _I wonder who else is outside of Konoha's gates…_

The footsteps came closer, and soon Sasuke could see someone walk out of the woods. He was a tall man, with long black hair, yellow snake-like eyes, pasty white skin.

_Who is this guy…?_ Thought Sasuke. _He doesn't look dangerous at all…yet, I can feel some sort of menace from him…_ he frowned and tightened his grip on the kunai.

The man suddenly stopped walking. He frowned and looked around.

…_does he know I'm here?_ Sasuke crouched a bit lower. The man turned his head up to look directly where Sasuke was. "…!" he nearly stumbled in surprise; Sasuke's stumble caused some leaves to fall, which was a little more than a dead giveaway.

"Come on out," said the man, his voice a bit raspy. "I know you're there."

"…" Sasuke considered coming out like that, but what if this man was an enemy? Looking more closely, Sasuke realized that this man is familiar. _Where have I seen him before?_

"I will ask you again." He raised a hand towards the tree. "Don't make me come up there…"

Sasuke sighed. _What the hell, I'll try talking to him…_ He poked his head out of the branch leaves and looked down at the man. "How did you know I was here?"

"You should learn to disguise your presence better," smirked the man. "Anyone could tell you were hiding there, with that hostile air of yours…"

"…" _He's right…_ Sasuke frowned at him. "I've never seen you around Konoha… Who are you?"

"You should introduce yourself before asking someone else that. Come on down here and let me see you more clearly."

"I won't come down… I don't know if you're an enemy or not…" He reached a hand into his shuriken holster. _I now recognize him…_ he realized. _This is that missing-nin…an S-Rank traitor…What was his name…?_

"You won't even come down here? What a rude boy you are, not even listening to an adult…" He raised his arm right to Sasuke, and before Sasuke could blink, snakes came out of the sleeves and wrapped themselves around Sasuke's arm.

"Wha…!? Hey!" protested Sasuke as the snakes pulled him down from the tree right up to the man. The snakes still holding onto his arm, Sasuke could only glare up at the man.

"See, now was that so hard?" the man smirked again, looking Sasuke up and down. He craned his neck to see the back of Sasuke's shirt, and saw the Uchiha crest there. "I see…You must be an Uchiha…"

Sasuke tried to pull away from the snakes. "Yes, I am an Uchiha…now you know, so tell me who you are."

"I need to know your given name before I can let you go. No need to be so stubborn."

"…grr…" he tugged at the snakes again. "…Sasuke," he muttered grudgingly.

"So it's Uchiha Sasuke…" the man nodded and released the snakes from Sasuke.

Who took the opportunity to quickly back away from the man, taking a defensive stance. _I probably won't stand a much chance against the S-Rank…but still…_

"No need to be so aggressive, Sasuke-kun. I certainly won't try to harm you. No, my reason for coming to Konoha is a personal one." When Sasuke continued to glare at him, the man shrugged. "I suppose there's no other way to convince you…"

Sasuke took a step back. _What will he do…?_

The man turned away from Sasuke and continued to walk towards Konoha's gates. "You continue your training, Sasuke-kun. Make sure you work hard."

"Wha…?" he growled. "Don't talk to me so casually! You still haven't told me who you are!"

"I am…" he looked back at Sasuke. "Orochimaru."

"…" Sasuke stared as this man, Orochimaru, resumed his walk to Konoha. _Just who is this guy…? How dare he refer to me as "-kun"! _he stood up straight and saw Orochimaru enter the gates. _…he really is powerful, though…_ he looked at his arm, and flicked some stray snake skin off of it.

The sun glittered overhead, and some birds flittered overhead. Sasuke gasped and looked around. "Dammit…what time is it!?" he groaned in frustration and sheathed the kunai, making a run for Konoha. "I better not be late…that damn Orochimaru…"

Orochimaru glanced back and saw Sasuke running into the village and towards the east side of town. He smirked and looked forward to the Hokage Tower. _Konoha certainly has gotten more interesting since I left,_ he thought. _Things will definitely get far better…_

He performed a couple of seals and teleported himself in front of the tower. The two ANBU guards jumped in surprise when they saw Orochimaru. "What… H-Hey, it's…!"

The other ANBU guard drew his weapon. "It's Orochimaru… Will the two of us be enough to subdue him before we can get more?"

"Don't worry, you two guards," chuckled Orochimaru. "I will not attack you. I come here in peace."

"What are you talking about?!" demanded the first ANBU guard.

"Let me put it this way." He walked up to the guards and held his palms out. "I am indeed Orochimaru, and I'm here to see Sandaime."

The two guards took a step back, exchanging uneasy glances. "Why do you want to see Sandaime-sama?" asked the first ANBU.

"That's for me to know, and you to find out." He smiled. "You both know that if I wanted to kill him, he'd be dead now. Unless you want to die for blocking my path…"

"No, we'll take you to Sandaime-sama," said the second ANBU. "However, we WILL escort you there!"

"Works for me," shrugged Orochimaru. "Lead the way, guards. Sandaime will see me when we get there."

The ANBU guards exchanged glances again; the first guard then nodded at Orochimaru. "Fine… Follow us." He and the other guard turned to the tower and hurried inside.

"Heh…" Orochimaru followed the guards, and soon, they were inside the tower, outside of Sandaime's office.

"Sandaime-sama!" the second guard knocked on the door.

"Come in," answered the voice.

Orochimaru pushed past the two guards and opened the door himself, stepping into the room.

Sandaime looked up from the paperwork he was signing, and his eyes widened in surprise. "Orochimaru…!"

"It's been a while, hasn't it, Sandaime?" Orochimaru smirked. "You look well."

The other room's occupant growled. "You!" she hissed. "What are you doing here?!"

"Anko, don't attack yet," said Sandaime, standing up.

"Saindaime-sama, he's an S-Rank missing-nin!" Anko glared at the guards. "What were you two thinking, letting him in here?!"

"H-He said he was here to see Sandaime, and that he came in peace," stammered the first ANBU guard. "If he was here to kill Sandaime, we wouldn't be here, Anko-sama."

"Uh…! T-true… But still, we can't trust him, Sandaime-sama!" Anko turned to the Hokage.

"…" Sandaime considered Orochimaru for a moment, narrowing his eyes. He then took the pipe he was smoking to his mouth. "Anko, and you two guards, leave us."

"What?! But Sandaime-sama…!" protested Anko.

"Leave us," repeated Sandaime. "I will listen to whatever Orochimaru has to offer, and he knows not to try anything to me."

"Yes, Anko, do leave us alone," said Orochimaru, never breaking Sandaime's gaze.

"Anko-sama, let us go then," said the second ANBU guard.

"…" Anko glared at Orochimaru, and stalked out of the room, the two ANBU guards following her.

Sandaime took a deep puff from the pipe. "So…Orochimaru. Why are you here?"

"Sandaime, you know what I've been studying ever since I left Konoha, right?"

"The forbidden techniques…to make yourself immortal. Is that why you've come? Have you succeeded?"

"Well…no." Orochimaru looked down, his hair hiding his eyes. "It didn't go quite as I planned… It failed rather horribly… And it left me very weak. I've seen the error of my ways. I see now that you were right all this time…"

"…" Sandaime said nothing, waiting for Orochimaru to continue.

"That is why…I wanted to ask you…" he looked up at Sandaime. "Will you let me return to Konoha?"

"…What?" asked Sandaime, lowering the pipe. "Return to Konoha? After all you've done?"

"Please, do let me return… You always said to give those who done wrong a second chance, didn't you?"

"A second chance to those who deserve it, Orochimaru." Sandaime frowned a little. "Are you truly sorry for what you did?"

"You know me, Sandaime." Orochimaru looked away. "I never apologized for anything before, you know… and this is just the one thing I want…to come back to Konoha…"

"…" the Hokage closed his eyes, thinking about it. _It's true Orochimaru would never apologize for anything unless he was truly sorry… I feel I can forgive him and give him the second chance… But at the same time, I don't think he can be trusted…_

"Sandaime?"

"I…will think about it, Orochimaru. In the meantime…"

"Yes?" Orochimaru looked a bit hopeful.

"…I'll have Anko take you to the Forest of Death. Surely you can't cause trouble there. Anko!" he called.

Almost instantly the door burst open, and Anko marched in angrily. "You won't seriously give him a chance, will you, Sandaime-sama?! The Chunin exams are coming up! We don't have time to deal with him!"

"Really, Anko, so suspicious," said Orochimaru, crossing his arms.

"Anko, I will think about this carefully. Trust me, I won't allow Orochimaru to try anything if he does have something in mind." Sandaime nodded to them both.

"…grr…" Anko growled in frustration and turned away. "Come on, lets go," she snarled, stalking out of the room.

"…heh." Orochimaru looked back at Sandaime, and followed Anko.

"…sigh…" Sandaime sat back down, resting his head on one hand. _I had better make this decision carefully…if I refuse to let him back, he might try something drastic…what if he does have something planned…But if I do let him back… Is he really sincere with this apology? I'll think about this for a long time…_

**Back with Sasuke…**

Sasuke had hurried from the village gates to the bridge. Sakura and Naruto were already there waiting; Sakura brightened and waved. "Sasuke-kun!" she called. "You're here!"

"Hah…phew…" Sasuke leaned against the bridge railing, catching his breath. "I…I'm not late, am I?" he asked, looking up at Naruto.

"…" _Ignoring me as usual,_ sighed Sakura, lowering her arm as Naruto huffed.

"No, not too much later, Sakura-chan and I got here not too long ago. We're just waiting for Kakashi-sensei now."

"I see…" Sasuke stood up straighter, looking up at the sky.

"I wonder why he always asks us to wait somewhere, but always makes us wait an hour or two before he actually shows up?" asked Sakura. "That really is rude of him…"

"I know!" agreed Naruto. "Especially when we're given those other easier missions! Tells us to get ready to go, and then comes later, making us behind in the mission! What's his problem!?"

"And after all this time, we still don't know anything about him," said Sakura. "He doesn't have to be so secretive with us, we've been his team for weeks. Most teachers are more open with their team."

"And that mask he's always wearing!" added Naruto. "That is really mysterious! What does he have to hide from the world?"

"Maybe he has a scar," suggested Sakura.

"Or some nasty wart!" laughed Naruto.

"Hahah! Maybe!"

"…" Sasuke sighed. _Can't those two ever stay quiet? I can't think as well when they're jabbering away like that…_

"Heyyyyy Sasuke!" said Naruto suddenly, walking up to Sasuke.

"…What?" asked Sasuke, frowning at him.

"It'll be a couple of hours before Kakashi-sensei shows up… And I'm getting bored! I wanna spar with you!" he yowled, pointing dramatically at Sasuke.

"Pheh. You won't stand a chance against me," said Sasuke, glancing away.

"What?! Oh come on! You never know till ya try! And besides, it was me who saved your sorry hide at the bridge! I think I deserve a chance to prove that I'm stronger than you!"

"What!?" Sasuke glared at Naruto, standing up straighter. "Do you really want to go there?""Naruto! Sasuke-kun! You two shouldn't fight!" said Sakura, standing between the two. "We should save our energy for whatever Kakashi-sensei wants us to do today!"

"Sakura-chan, this is just a quick spar!" said Naruto. "Heh heh! I can defeat him easy!"

"Why don't you try? I'll show you how weak you are! Move!" he added to Sakura.

"B-But Sasuke-kun…" Sakura looked back at him. _Hyahyaa, beat him up, Sasuke-kun! Shanarro!_, said Inner Sakura, punching the air enthusiastically.

"Yeah, lets do this!" said Naruto eagerly, jumping from side to side.

Sasuke stepped back a bit and crouched down, ready to charge. "Well then, come on!"

"Do you best, Sasuke-kun!" said Sakura, stepping back.

"Ehh?? What about me, Sakura-chan?" wailed Naruto.

"Yeah, you too," she said, eyes on Sasuke.

_Grr…stealing the attention of Sakura-chan!_ Thought Naruto angrily. _He's gonna die!_ With a battle cry he charged at Sasuke.

_This is too easy,_ thought Sasuke, catching Naruto's fist at the right moment, and flipping him over.

"Wah! Oof!"

"Naruto, you're pathetic!" jeered Sakura.

"Grr…I'm just getting started!" Naruto jumped back up and threw some shuriken at Sasuke.

"Hmmph!" he scoffed, dodging them easily. "That won't work." He hurried ahead and delivered a quick kick to Naruto's face.

"Argh! Dammit…" Naruto rubbed his cheek. "Hahah, I'm just going easy on you! This time I'm coming for real!"

"Oh, come on, Naruto, you can never defeat Sasuke-kun!" said Sakura, clasping her hands and staring dreamily at Sasuke.

"You gonna come at me again?" smirked Sasuke, not noticing Sakura's words.

"Yeah, you bet I am!!" yowled Naruto. "Hrraaahhhh!!" he yelled, taking a full charge at Sasuke.

"…!" Sasuke backed up a bit…and stepped to the side just before Naruto could hit him.

"Aah!" Naruto lost footing and landed flat on his belly. "Ow…darn it…"

"Are you even trying?" asked Sasuke, standing over Naruto.

"Yes…Yes, I am!" said Naruto angrily, hurriedly standing up.

"Very well, lets go again." Sasuke punched Naruto's face, making the blonde fly a bit back.

"Waahhh…" Naruto tumbled and landed on his back. "Ow…""Hah! You're never gonna be able to defeat Sasuke-kun!" cheered Sakura, hopping up and down.

Sasuke crossed his arms as Naruto stood up. "Want to go again?" he asked, taunting Naruto with a "come here" gesture.

"Why you…" Naruto dusted himself off and pointed at Sasuke. "Now here comes the real me! Rarr!!" he charged at Sasuke yet again.

"You're only going to loop yourself," sighed Sasuke, grabbing Naruto's fist with one hand and punching the shadow clone that appeared behind him.

"Wha…Damn, nobody's that good!" whined Naruto.

"Just give up today, Naruto," said Sasuke, tossing Naruto behind him.

"Oof! Ow…" Naruto landed at Sakura's feet.

"Come on, Naruto, you're gonna be an embarrassment to our team if you can't even hurt Sasuke-kun," said Sakura. "Not that I think anyone can…"

_Sakura-chan…_ Naruto sat up. "Grr…I'll kick your butt, Sasuke…someday."

"I look forward to it," said Sasuke sarcastically, dusting himself off and leaning against the bridge railing.

"Grr!! Dammit, Sasuke!" with another yell Naruto stood and charged at the unsuspecting Sasuke, toppling them both into the water.

"…! Meep!" Sakura yelped, looking over the bridge. "Oh no, you two! Naruto, don't get Sasuke-kun wet!"

"I can defeat him now!" laughed Naruto, trying to grab Sasuke by the shoulders.

"G-Get off of me!" yelled Sasuke, trying to shake Naruto away from him.

Sakura bit her nails nervously, wondering if she should interfere when the familiar "Yo!" came from behind her.

"Eh? Kakashi-sensei!" called Sakura, looking back at him.

Kakashi walked over to Sakura and looked down at Sasuke and Naruto struggling in the water. "What did I miss?" he asked nonchalantly.

**Back at Sandaime's office…**

Sandaime shuffled some papers together, and took a long puff from the pipe. _I've made the decision…I know what to do._ He opened the door and addressed the ANBU guard there. "Go find Anko and tell her to bring Orochimaru here."

"Orochimaru?" repeated the ANBU guard. "You've made your decision then?"

"Yes I have. Tell Anko to bring Orochimaru here," he repeated. "I have decided…to forgive Orochimaru and let him come back to Konoha."

--

**End chapter.**


End file.
